Abstract

This autoethnography is about the author’s arranged marriage to a Jewish, Soviet scientist, a transaction meant to release him and his family from their home country at a time when leaving for Jews was nearly impossible. Arranged marriages offered possibility but brought subjective complexities over the ethical and even safety concerns to those involved. Drawing from the author’s journals, this story foregrounds subjective connection to these ethical concerns. While this story is the author’s (and Misha’s, a pseudonym), it captures the human story of finding humanity in those we disagree with, those we find difficult, those we want to reject, including maybe especially ourselves.